Fact and Friction at the last chance motel!

Robbie bullies everyone violently or noisily but never intellectually ... Bless Im LOL!, Richie bullies his debtors but only when they are very ill, Adam tries to bully anyone annoying him but thankfully fails horribly and Josh attempts to intellectually bully everyone by either giggling or boring them to death! I could be describing an episode of living with baboons by David Attenborough but unfortunately I am not! This is merely another episode of 'Velcomin du der Ghetto'!

Welcome to the last chance motel which will get a chapter all of its own in my tragicomedy book 'Living with the Ghetto monsters  - Joshua Rottenborough' re the survival techniques of the UK CHAV variant of homo sapiens!

Luckily the mutant family have just noisily left the building! Only alpha monkey can bang a front door that noisily 'accidentally'! :) :(

Meanwhile am thinking of building a Google Android app 'Live Streaming and Screaming CHAV' and the c**t is so dim e would probably sign up for it lol

Rachel-pi Wow!

http://rachel.worldposssible.org/

Homes I have lived in on the way up and on the way back down!

Will add photos later via PC coz bug in blogger Android app prevents post from publishing if I attach any photos from my nostalgic trip thru Google Street view! Hehe

Guilty until proven insane!

Until I found myself stranded in a police no go area near the local ghetto or 'sink estate' with my stalker attached to my neck and requiring assistance the police were always available but then ....

I cheekily informed them on my cellphone that I am actually being half strangled by a wooly teenage mutant metalhead mammoth and 'we will be with u within 2 hours' was not an appropriate response in this circumstance so then they came out and arrested me for inventing my stalker who was long gone coz he ran away when he heard them say 'we r coming to beat u sir clown' etc etc ha ha!

Who can find the long lost arm of the law? :) Lol

Not swearing drunkenly in the presence of a police officer! :)

Friggin ell m8 geroff me freaky neck will ya ... wot a load of fascist Bolsheviks u flying frigging Knuth's really really are etc etc is not swearing lol but they cannae tell! ... At least not in my accent at payday pub closing time anyway! :) LOL

I run this kinda nonsense past a football scrum of Merseyside Police Officers most monthly payday pub closing times! It doesn't get me very far but it cheers me up and it's great fun listening to what they say I said later in court! A little bit boilerplate but other than that an excellent work of fiction usually! LOL

From wine snob to wine slob! :)

Timber corks then screw tops then omg wot no red then back to supermall to omg no more timber corks anymore! Its been a long way down however it was quite a pleasant descent cushioned mostly by cab sauv! :) lol

Brutish justice always strikes twice off camera! :). :(

In my last 15 approx interactions with the Brutish legal system I have pleaded guilty 3 times and today was the third! Because I was guilty I thought that I did not need my rather excellent lawyer/solicitor to say 'it's a fair cop guvnor u got me bang to rights etc' but boy was I wrong!

Yes I was guilty of drunkenly running outside coz my drug dealer whom I sadly share a kitchen with was going nuts coz I had told him that I had spent my money on vodka (true) and had no more (untrue) just to get him outta his habit on my (every) payday! I ran angrily into traffic then when I realised that the freak with the knife had remained in the kitchen I calmed down and reverted from screaming to grumbling and muttering 'Jesus f-n Christ might forgive u but I never f-n will' etc et who cares cetera! I then wobbled very carefully back towards our front door but was unfortunately assisted by the local rugby amateurs b4 I got there!

I say amateurs coz tho Merseyslide beat bobbies r very professional at the off camera flying rugby tackle they sadly only speak 'footie'! Lol

So yes I was very drunk, no I should not have been outside and yes technically this made me guilty of their favourite offence D&D ... So yep guilty as charged and they have no need to lie (i.e. for once the case was not the usual complete fabrication in the interest of inverse class warfare) but I forgot just how perjurious the Crown Perjury System can be and ...

They lied almost completely! I say almost coz during their pathetic laughable perjury which would only be believed by people who do not know me I nodded once to the yes I was very drunk bit! Then the boilerplate lies started and I shook my head to confirm the negative of each lie ...

According to the CPS I am an illiterate profane violent abusive Irish gypsy aka a tinker! I say ... just coz the red haired tattooed officer (e.g. 2428) is descended from Tinker's kicked off my great grandfather's land 150 years ago and he now mostly only shovels the shit kicked off of my father's land 50 years ago is no good reason to be angry and unforgiving ... good slur!

Once the flow of nonsense began I started shaking my head and all the judges looked away simultaneously which was probably just as well or they might have called an ambulance thinking I was having some kinda shaking Parkinson's fit! :).  :(

Apparently and supposedly I did WTF WTF and more WTF ... Tbel

After listening to this utter utter drivel the magistrate said 'Your record doesn't read very well Mr OSullivan' to which I responded 'Agreed very sorry your honour ... but it works wonderfully as a work of fiction on my blog!'

... Lol/col