In my last 15 approx interactions with the Brutish legal system I have pleaded guilty 3 times and today was the third! Because I was guilty I thought that I did not need my rather excellent lawyer/solicitor to say 'it's a fair cop guvnor u got me bang to rights etc' but boy was I wrong!
Yes I was guilty of drunkenly running outside coz my drug dealer whom I sadly share a kitchen with was going nuts coz I had told him that I had spent my money on vodka (true) and had no more (untrue) just to get him outta his habit on my (every) payday! I ran angrily into traffic then when I realised that the freak with the knife had remained in the kitchen I calmed down and reverted from screaming to grumbling and muttering 'Jesus f-n Christ might forgive u but I never f-n will' etc et who cares cetera! I then wobbled very carefully back towards our front door but was unfortunately assisted by the local rugby amateurs b4 I got there!
I say amateurs coz tho Merseyslide beat bobbies r very professional at the off camera flying rugby tackle they sadly only speak 'footie'! Lol
So yes I was very drunk, no I should not have been outside and yes technically this made me guilty of their favourite offence D&D ... So yep guilty as charged and they have no need to lie (i.e. for once the case was not the usual complete fabrication in the interest of inverse class warfare) but I forgot just how perjurious the Crown Perjury System can be and ...
They lied almost completely! I say almost coz during their pathetic laughable perjury which would only be believed by people who do not know me I nodded once to the yes I was very drunk bit! Then the boilerplate lies started and I shook my head to confirm the negative of each lie ...
According to the CPS I am an illiterate profane violent abusive Irish gypsy aka a tinker! I say ... just coz the red haired tattooed officer (e.g. 2428) is descended from Tinker's kicked off my great grandfather's land 150 years ago and he now mostly only shovels the shit kicked off of my father's land 50 years ago is no good reason to be angry and unforgiving ... good slur!
Once the flow of nonsense began I started shaking my head and all the judges looked away simultaneously which was probably just as well or they might have called an ambulance thinking I was having some kinda shaking Parkinson's fit! :). :(
Apparently and supposedly I did WTF WTF and more WTF ... Tbel
After listening to this utter utter drivel the magistrate said 'Your record doesn't read very well Mr OSullivan' to which I responded 'Agreed very sorry your honour ... but it works wonderfully as a work of fiction on my blog!'
... Lol/col
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