Underemployed (F)artistry 1:

Underemployed (F)artistry 1:

Attached is my first 4000*2000 pixel original bonkers doodle-art Photoshop JPEG: 'Could someone please find a Doctor.jpg' (which BTW makes no sense until viewer zooms to almost pixel level ... ?):

The above collage of (f)artistry aka 'Underemployed (F)Artistry 1' aka 'Could someone please find a Doctor?.jpeg' started as my first panoramic experimental photo of 'Birkenhead Town Hall and Hamilton Square Photosphere 360%' using my then new 8MPixel Google Nexus 4 at Xmas 2013 in full wow 'Google Camera Photosphere' mode! ...

... However it came out so wonderfully gothic that over Xmas  I added Gandalf's hat (via Google Images) to my shadow and then Stumbledore's magic began in the new year! ...

... In Jan 2014 I got mugged by the usual suspects so got busy indoors doodling for shoulder pain, using Gimp 2.8 on PC mostly, and produced this bonkers evolving (Xmas 2013 - Halloween 2015) psycho-doodle!

About once a month if I go out I get mugged by either the usual suspects or the local teenage mutant bandit turtles so since 2014 I have been staying indoors more and ...

... I have found that adding 1 scary doctor, 1 naughty nurse, 1 random alien and 1 riddle to this collage whilst having 1 glass of wine and mousing furiously in Gimp 2.8 has been very therapeutic for my shoulder pain and for my mood  hehe ... well at least a lot better than the traditional birko beating I get if I venture out for a beer in the ghetto after dark!  :) :( [?] hehe LOL mad cackle!

The cast of characters presently includes: 8 'Scary Doctors', 2 'Doctors Assistants', 50+ 'Daleks', 21 'Naughty Nurses',  2 'Droids', 2 'Prophets' , 2 'Superheros',  2 'Spaceships', 1 'Police Constable', 1 'Protestor' and the shadow of 'a deranged lunatic' etc etc! When I cant sleep I count that lot and zzzz! :) hehe

Enjoy and regards YXOS

p.s. I call it a 'Collage of (F)artistry' coz theres virtually nothing original in it ... Everything in it is either free or freely available on the internet So I want to gently circulate it at its full 4000x2000 resolution for free just to see if anybody can be bothered to zoom into my vaguely artistic but mostly engineering sense of humour! hehe

p.p.s. Yao Xiang meaning 'Enlightenment in the details' or 'Pedantic nitpicker' is my Buddhist name!

p.p.p.s. The 'F' in 'Collage of (F)art' stands for '(F)ree' implying a collage of (F)ree art assembled for farting about purposes mainly LOL!

p.p.p.p.s. If any old art shop should want to sell this 'Underemployed (F)artistry 1' aka 'Could someone please find a Doctor.jpeg' then plz do so and send all proceeds to the 'WTF happened to Ian Tomlinson 2009 Fund'! ... until such time as its bringing in 2 salaries at which time I would like half maybe? ... or Gizajob Plz? ... LOL

p.p.p.p.p.s Recently I decided to celebrate my 54th birthday safely indoors on my own other than Skype then the teenage neighbour did a 2 hour Jimi Hendrix guitar solo thru our terraced cottage wall to which I responded eventually with 5 mins of Nigel Kennedy doing Hungarian plate throwing music on Dolby surround at full volume at 5pm and an hour later the cops kicked my door in without a warrant and beat me unconscious while I was quietly asleep in my couch in front of RTTV on satellite tv! I think that they were more offended by my Russian anti fascist taste in tv than my European anti noise taste in music! ... but what really offended them was my statement thru my letter box 'no warrant no entry ... European law applies here whether u voted for it or not so no thx to your "assistance" and Good night officer'! He went away waited 10 mins for me to fall asleep came back broke in and beat me unconscious while asleep and deliberately smashed up my android tablet to destroy the evidence coz I had stupidly informed him he was being recorded for youtube. And even b4 I could crawl painfully outta my couch i have recived a registered letter eviction notice coz I musta started it ... He who lies first gets believed ... Welcome to 'Brutish Justice'! :(

Pinging like a rocket on 4g on my 'cheap as chips' Chinese superphone! Rocking on a budget!

Check out my @Speedtest result! How fast is your internet? http://www.speedtest.net/my-result/a/3497372331

Yum like Wow!

Check out @MickyDrenteWill’s Tweet: https://twitter.com/MickyDrenteWill/status/937596567862857728?s=09

Creative flat battery arranging at Dawn

I need my 'borrowed' battery charger back or my phone and I will fall off of the internet soon but meanwhile a better plan is to change my WiFi password until the freeloader returns my charger maybe coz if I can't see my WiFi on my phone then why should I sit here grumpily watching g the Freeloading Facebook zombie youtube on my WiFi ... New password to be revealed on return of my goods! LOL but grrrr-owl!

Pup and Pupper!: 'Local Ghetto Half Child Monsters' on rampage on my Birthday! Lol

It was the day before my 56th Birthday and I decided to exit Kode-Land and fund a mini pub crawl with a few friends and freeloaders! The friends sadly went home early when beautifully English style embarrassed by recieving more than one beer when broke but the main BBFB1: 'British Brexiting Freeloading Bastard' happily stayed and invited 2 of his sad Teenage Mutant Numpty Frenemies: TMNF1+2 and the torture began!

First Judas1 started drunkenly shouting bingo during bingo during gatecrashed bingo then when I started growling too loudly 'Shut the fuck up' he told his Brexiting audience that the 'Drunken Irishman is trying to pick a fight' and they happily turned on me whilst I spluttered in vain about being a happy drunken pacifist Irishman whilst they chose to not understand a word so we both got barred from the local bingo club and now Judas1 blames me for starting it and all I accept is that I should never ever buy the angry freeloader free beer again! LOL

 Then the 3 mental child monsters ( mental-age 10+ but actual age 30+,16+16+!) later started a children's bullying game of running around the road with the old man's hat i.e. my frigging hat while a passing police officer observed and pulled up in a passing van! They then ran away while a large police van pulled up! I walked home carefully minus my hat and now Judas1 is now trying to extort compo from me for his ripped hoodie which I released slightly too late as he ran away with my stolen hat into the middle of the road! ROFLMAO!!!

Relevant quotes when just the freeloader remained:

 'For fucks sake Judas I am not Jesus so plz find somebody else to crucify on their Fucking payday!' LOL

'I had hoped to avoid the usual local pub freeloaders convention convened around the birthday boy with beer money but failed but at least I am not being mugged by strangers merely being scammed by frenemies!' LOL

I am 'Bipolar' addicted to peace and quiet however  overreact badly to bullying with an excess of pity+contempt and eventually ranting!

Judas1 is 'ADHD' and addicted to conflict and noise e.g. 'i iz going 2 bang im out I iz' is a typical utterance followed sometimes by random violence and damage to property! However he can't take my pity whilst constantly trying to provoke me into rage and and I cant take his angst so let's pity each other from a great distance by maybe fucking off in opposite directions ASAP plz!

P.S. BTW 'Pup and Pupper' aka Adam.Vague and Charlie.Hazy are names withheld due to possible heat on these usual scamsters faking it as children victims! Both r 16+ so legally adults but sadly both with the maturity of an untrained Staffie pup thus aka'Pup and Pupper!' LOL but ...

P.P.S. Possibly 'Brat-Man and Super-Brat' should be their new nicknames coz 30 year old man turns mentally into a 10 year old child btsr when 16 year old Super-Brat also mentally 10 visits to play mental footie with my head! Super-Brat will always be Super-Brat but thankfully Brat-Man turns into a half decent bloke with a whack job sense of humour when Super-Brat eventually eventually exits and he Brst-Cave and returns to lala land! LOL

True Shit! :)

Batty Man here is making a last attempt at emptying the Batty Cave whilst skiving off a very preachy 'just say no to alcohol+etc' course and getting shitaced on frosty-jack+zapain+penicillin and thinks this might not sound like a very sane idea to any politically correct person but here is my incredible rationalisation which I actually believe at least until the end of either my incredible house move (soon thankfully) or the end of my incredible pain (soon hopefully):

1. My Chakra problem has gone holistic and is now physically eating me and Doctors sadly can no longer explain this even tho Hindus could 10,000 years ago! Grrr?

2. If I desperately hop to this preachy anti alcohol course I will physically damage my omg-foot (plz see pre penicillin blog entry re rotting foot)!

3. Am just going to read a good book on CBT after moving home!

Chakra attack! LOL but true!

That old familiar half dead with eyelid turning inside out on herb, penicillin and paracetemol look Hehe!

Moving in to my new home!

My new home: Keys picked up 26th Aug 2017, tenancy began 30th August and my furniture and I arrived 31st, last of books etc to arrive by taxi-van tomoz 9th September! Slightly slow packing and moving coz of rotting  foot and chakra attack! But overall a pretty cool start to Autumn! Hehe

Snitchy Bitchy Ritchie scores an own goal again!

I have just had a good whinge to this rat on Facebook coz his ancient unsaleable phone can't accept MMS or long SMS's! Once he has smoked his fprtnightly cash he always sells his android phone to 'cashies' (A UK pawnbroker mostly trading used 'trending' electronic gadgets)! So at least the useless waster wont start midnight war by SMS tonight ... but tomoz is another day! Grrr but LOL!

Hi Snitchy Bitchy Ritchie,

One of the guys said that u said that in one of your 'interventions for the good of my mental health', aka 'trying to beat the shit outta me on my payday for not buying you any doom.cider', that I tried to gouge your eyes out u blatant payday scamster! I well remember saying to u as I got u out of my room doorway that if u ever dirty fight again (u were gouging my eyes) that I would stab u in one eye once only with a rollerball biro and since then u have resorted to bitch slapping me on my payday which is the extent of your clean fighting ability U DIRTY FIGHTING LYING RAT!

Goodbye and thx for the lessons in dirty ghetto survival tactics! For streetwise lessons I now have a few decent blokes to learn from and thankfully will not need to listen to your BS again! 'I AM NOT A GRASS BUT I WILL GET U LIFTED I PROMISE IF U GROAN IN PAIN AGAIN ONCE' ... Now that's what I call Snitchy Bitchy Ritchie (IL)Logic!

U sir r no sir at all coz u have no honour u knave and uber-greedy pauper! U r the most pathetic bully I have ever met coz u only bully pacifists and violence and dirty fighting is your first resort ... you have my limited sympathy for now and my unlimited pity forever!

Adieu et bon voyage mon petite merde!

My Left Foot and other rotting bits! :) :(

My left foot, my right butt cheek and my right hand are infected with something bacterial or fungal but very nasty and flesh eating! My right hand is just lumpy and itchy so far and my arse is just too gross for a photo blog so the following is a one photo per day after bath grim but funny photo blog of my OMG so rotten foot starting Monday just gone when it started to heal slightly!

My arse started rotting painfully 6 months ago and is on its fifth course of Penicillin but still rotting ... Yikes! My foot started rotting rapidly 2 weeks ago and my hand started itching yesterday! Meanwhile I am having a bath every morning and a shower every night but my foot still smells slightly rotten every morning ... Yikes! My hands r washed everytime I dress my foot but this mutant bug just doesn't give the f##k up and cross infection in progress I guess!

The healing has begun with much help from 'Augmentin' (extra strong Amoxicillin) Penicillin, 'Zapain' (Extra strong codeine+paracetamol) painkillers, 'Lamisil Once' (Extra strong, extra expensive anti-fungal lotion), Boots-own-brand cracked heel balm, Scholl 'Athlete's Foot Powder', 'Eumovate' cream and many gauzes, dressings and bandages begged from every medical centre in town between paydays and bought from every pharmacy in town on payday!

The skin has fallen off all the toes and half the sole of my left foot while the foot has swollen to twice the size of the right one!

So temporarily while Penicillin is winning I am 'Bilbo Bagfoot' coz my foot is dripping contagious but now clear liquid into an asda cheapo plastic bag however if the fungi/bugs win and I shed my skin I may die slowly looking and screaming like Gollum!

BTW if you live in England 'next door to Malice' i.e. a Brexiteer and don't want your nasty neighbour to call the police coz u woke up screaming in pain then try screaming 'FOR F##KS SAKE CAN SOMEONE CALL A F##KING AMBULANCE COZ I AM DYING HERE AND CANNAE FIND MY F##KING PHONE' and it will grimly scuttle away spitefully and not call anyone! LOL but COL but it works for me!

Am loving my talking Android TV!

https://youtu.be/HJHD2cAH2GE

The above link is to my YouTube video of my android.tv.box using the talk aloud function of Google Play Books and the following is the description I gave it on YouTube!

...

My home postcode is here sez Google Maps! LOL

Birkenhead Tunnel https://goo.gl/maps/4Xxn3WdgGVG2

Osama Bin Baghead! ... LOL be upon me! :)

Big ears are useful for carrying beers! LOL

Vote Bremain where possible!?

http://www.newstatesman.com/2017/06/new-statesman-cover-election-special

It's very sad that the bid to introduce proportional representation or AV or  ranked choice voting died quietly! For the first time in my life I feel like it's pointless voting in the UK! In this our current ridiculous first past the post circus race I would like to vote for 'None of the above' which I really believe really soon now will need to be an available option on ballot papers in this sadly suicidal Brexiting Kingdom or all we will ever have is suicidal donkeys in this our saddest of circus races!? LOL but COL!

A blast from the sad past! :) LOL

Check out The Men Behind the Wire by The Wolfe Tones on Amazon Music https://music.amazon.co.uk/albums/B003MONZBW?trackAsin=B003MOTIPO&ref=dm_sh_66mS6UJ6ph4OfPXGJCO9VgICg

... I haven't listened to this anthem in decades but tiz good to see that this much loved in Ireland lot are no longer banned here in mainland UK! Thank G(o)odness for the peace process and let's hope & pray that it survives Brexit!

The Resurrection of Dan Brown!

https://youtu.be/ETN9Ze74_mA

I stumbled across the above video whilst browsing YouTube! Its sorta Dan brown in reverse coz he took every mystic mumbo jumbo conspiracy theory re Jesus he could find on the internet (most of which I read during my religious nutter phase he he) then blended all this mega mush into a meta-conspiracy theory in the form of the book The Da Vinci Code etc! But this video does the reverse in a propaganda way! It extracts 'Illuminati' theories from the book/movie 'Angels and Demons' as if invented by Dan then quotes the conspiracy theory website Dan probably found this Illuminati mush on as proof that OMG Dan was right'! At least Dan has the honesty to declare his work as fiction! LOL but true!

posted from Bloggeroid

Asymmetrical me! :) LOL

Am going to use Gimp/Photoshop to produce 2 symmetrical me's one double-left and one double-right half of me and will post goofy resulting 2 JPEGs here in a minute! I have seen this exercise practiced on a symmetrical face of a model and it takes the girl from very pretty to hypnotizing beauty but  I I guess my face is so asymmetrical that it will unleash two symmetrical beast versions of me shall be unleashed here shortly! LOL

BTW mousing around in Gimp2.8 on my PC is a great way to distract me from shoulder and hip pain when I can't go for one of my many long walks! Hehe

Nonsense I shoved on facebook:

Lots of mousing around in Photoshop is very good for my shoulder capsulitis pain and here is my latest this morning goofing off in pain in Gimp/Photoshop for therapy exercise: I took a selfie of my very lopsided face then used Gimp2.8 turned it into right me and left me and they r very different ... 'Right Me 1' looks like a complete football hooligan and 'Left Me 1' looks like a totally lost nerd! So Dr. Jeckyl is on the left and Mr. Hyde is on the right! :)LOL

Pinging like a Rocket! :)

The first line in the attached photo is a speedtest of my newly discovered 4G which i just found hidden under a 'default to 3g' option and it is indeed a rocking accidental upgrade!

I recently got a very good sim-only 18-month contract deal with BT Mobile!

A family (1 SIM only small family of only me hehe) SIM with 20gig data monthly plus approx £1 per gig over limit for £20 and now I just found a 'Prefer LTE' option under 'Default to 3G' it is on 4g and it's kicking at 24Mbps instead of previous 7Mbps on 3G ... so it rocks at a reasonable price which is rare in this new era of phone companies mostly eat their customers money for this kinda speed! Hehe

I like bragging on a budget! ... and I am well impressed with the 'phone package' I have assembled for a fraction of the usual pre-packaged high street cost! ...So let's compare my economy Chinese roadster (Xiaomi) to the usual pricey Korean luxury cruiser (Samsung):

I have an Octacore 2gig 32gig 1080p 2.2Ghz Android 5.5" phablet running on a 'BT EE 4G' SIM with 20gig monthly data allowance for approx £99 up front (Xiaomi Redmi Note 2 Pro 32Gig and spare battery available on eBay) and £20 per month for 18 months of quick relatively unrestricted usage ... And I own my phone immediately and the battery is removable so no lock in and death of phone when battery dies after 3 years of normal usage or about 6 months at geek speed! Total investment £459 so overall relatively low price and low maintenance coz of replaceable battery which is very important coz batteries die quickly when used at geek speed for a hopeful 6 months! :) LOL but true!

... Whereas if I had gotten the slightly more powerful but much more expensive 'Samsung Galaxy S8+' it would cost £60 approx up front and £58 per month for 24 months i.e. freaking well £1452! Meanwhile I don't get to own my phone until the end of the 24 month period by which time the built in battery will have been fried by 18 months at geek speed! So I get to rent a very sleek rolls Royce with sexy beveled bits and only own it once it dies! Hmmm? I think I will stick to owning my Chinese​ Cadillac at 33% of the price NOW thx!

P.s. the top or first test result is my 4g, the next entry is BT Infinity Wi-fi 50Mbps broadband, the next entry at 7Mbps is my phone on 3g before i stumbled on 4g just now! The next few entries r just me alternating between wi-fi and 3g thinking Wi-fi canes my battery but 3g data is slow ... So am now happily testing 4g which seems to be fast and doesn't so far cane my battery unlike the much more greedy Wi-fi! When i forget to switch Wi-fi off it eats battery very quickly doing officially very little! Hmmm?

Know your rights!

https://youtu.be/fJrZ2xySUxA

... And obviously this dude author of this video on YouTube does know our rights ... well done m8 and can u please stand in the next election coz I wanna vote for u!

Also the author of this video had obviously not consumed any alcohol or any other other mind altering substances (except maybe coffee! LOL) coz when my local Merseybeat keystone constabulardy smell one beer on me at pub closing time whilst i quote EU law re their unrequired 'assistance' in the above fashion suddenly they stop listening to my rights and I am mostly forcibly rugby tackled to the ground whilst I splutter about 'there is no need for this level of violence officer'!

I will now attach a photo of what's left of my Samsung tablet after an officer decided he didn't like being recorded whilst illegally breaking into my home without a warrant after a brief dispute with my teenage neighbour re his 3 hours (2-5pm approx) of jimi Hendrix on electric guitar and my 3 minutes only of hifi on max power playing one Hungarian plate throwing song only i.e. 'Kukush - Nigel Kennedy'!

The officer went away when I informed him that he was being recorded and would probably be on YouTube in the morning! However he then waited until I fell asleep then came back and demolished my door, demolished my tablet and beat me unconscious! Welcome to 'Brutish Justice' which is only available off camera!

Recipe for homemade 'Farmhouse Pizza'!

Input:

1 Tiger bread, butter, a spicy tomato based sauce, squared cheese slices, finely chopped onion and sliced chorizo!

Process:

1. Slice the Tiger bread into 4 by first seperating the top from the bottom then halve these and luckily these 4 slices with slight trimming just fit conveniently into a 4 slice luxury toaster!
2. Toast the bread while got then butter and wait a minute for melted. Utter effect ... Yum!
3. Add any tomato based sauce  and spread evenly.. A tin of chopped tomatoes with garlic chilli etc is what i mix up from whatever is randomly at the back of my fridge! LOL
4. Sprinkle finely chopped onions on your chosen paste!
5. Then I cover this with a checkerboard of alternating chorizo slices and extra mature cheddar cheese squares!
6. I place one of these slices in a 'George Foreman' grilling thing and leave it in for 5 minutes approx!

Output:

In 15/20 minutes (5 mins defrosting a loaf, 5 mins toasting this loaf once pecuiliarly sliced, 5 mins  melting butter adding paste and toppings then 5 mins in grill) you will have 4 of my best fake pizza slices ever! Mega yummy munchies ... LOL!

Love never dies ... just loved ones RIP!

It's been 12 years since my true love died but I still need to cry once a year and this song by this bard really helps! LOL but true!

Check out Another Love [Explicit] by Tom Odell on Amazon Music https://music.amazon.co.uk/albums/B00BYEUWH2?trackAsin=B00BYEV1PO&ref=dm_sh_fLWe0MNKoS5xDgw4U4rTlZCA9

The only European in the Ghetto!

I love the EU! It represents so much more than these pig thick ignorant ex British empire stormtroopers skinheads will ever comprehend!

The terminally stupid decision these morons made in June 2016 was made mostly by shopkeepers assistants counting shillings thus they missed the point entirely! United Europe is sadly still too big a concept for undereducated UK coneheads?

Migration, trade and WTF were the only shillings worth counting or mentioning by the bean counters on both sides of this the most important and the most misunderstood debate+referendum in the history of this strangely suicidal Queendom! The Bremainers got buried in a shit storm of Brexit lies+propoganda from Farage+Yawbos and ...

Bremainers r now European refugees in this anti EU Kingdom! How F-N sad is this mad charge of the illiterates back into their nostalgic dark ages!?

I predict that within 10 years this Brexit Shite will rip the UK apart ... Coz Scotland+NI will fight tooth and nail to remain in the EU while England+Wales would fight them to get out of the EU!

Brexit was designed to save the Tory party and other fascists not the United Kingdom ... As Leonard Cohen RIP mighta said ... First they Trump Manhattan then they Brexit old York!

The Day of the Grok! Aka Eviction Day! :(

The day started badly at 7:30am and just got worse ... I woke up in pain to the all too familiar unpleasant sound of Manboon1 threatening its mate Girly1 very loudly in our communal hallway and after half an hour of this things suddenly got violent! It didn't help that as I slowly awoke from my sciatica and cocodamyl induced nightmare I was chanting sorta singing aloud 'Shut the f,**k up, shut the f**k up, shut the f**k up you STOO-OOP-ID GRUNT!' to the tune of O Come All Yee Faithful! Soz but LOL!

As I awoke slowly I realised I was chanting aloud and stopped immediately but it was just too late for my door which sadly got kicked in by Manboon1 30 seconds later! That evening our usually tolerant private landlord served us both with eviction notices! Hmmm?

So I called my landlord and later got evicted for my efforts, I called the police and eventually had to deliberately get myself arrested just to get away from the big grok pictured below coz he saw me signing a statement in a police van, re neighbours door kicking in, and was following me shouting 'yer a grass yer iz' etc etc. After an hour of being chased by this thing from hell thru 2 supermarkets 3 pubs and eventually into McDonald's crying to their security guard 'can u see this invisible man whom the police can't see' and thankfully he could! I had already rung 999 three times and they just weren't coming out for 'used to be bonkers so must be making this crap up' me!

Kindly Maccies security guy rang the police and they reluctantly arrived! But suddenly they couldn't understand a word outta me as I pointed at the menacing grok across the road! I knew that the minute they abandoned me he and his 2 swarming baghead friends were going to give me at least a serious beating so I deliberately started 'not swearing' at the confused officer and suddenly he understood me and escorted me away from the three Stooges across the road at last! 

P.s. In this ghetto ... all's well that ends in a cell! LOL

P.p.s. Friggin ell m8 geroff me freaky neck will ya ... wot a load of fascist Bolsheviks u flying frigging Knuth's really really are etc etc is not swearing lol but they cannae tell! ... At least not in my accent anyway! :) LOL